Toothpick Johnson's Ostracism.
"You sees," observed the Old Cattleman, as he moved into the deeper shade; "you sees this yere Toothpick disgraces Wolfville; that's how it is.Downs a party, Toothpick Johnson does, an' no gun on the gent, the same bein' out of roole entire.Nacherally, while no one blames Toothpick, who makes the play what you-all calls 'bony fidis,' the public sort o' longs for his eelopement.An' that settles it; Toothpick has to hunt out for different stampin'
grounds.
"It all comes from Toothpick bein' by nacher one of these yere over-zealous people, an' prematoorely prone that a-way.He's born eager, Toothpick is, an' can't he'p it none.
"You-all has tracked up on that breed of cimmaron plenty frequent now.They're the kind who picks up a poker hand, kyard by kyard, as they comes.They're that for'ard,--that headlong to get outer the present an' into the footure, they jest can't wait for things to have a chance to happen.
"'Whyever do you pull in your kyards that a-way?' I says to Toothpick, reprovin' of him.'Why can't you let 'em lay till the hand's dealt?'
"'Which I'm shorely that locoed to look if I ain't got three aces or some sech,' says Toothpick, 'I must turn 'em up to see.'
"'Well,' says I, an' the same is wisdom every time, 'you-all would appear more like a dead cold sport to let 'em be, an' pick up your whole hand together.Likewise, you'd display a mighty sight more savey if you keeps your eyes on the dealer till he lays down the deck.You'd be less afflicted by disagreeable surprises if you'd freeze to the last idee; an' you'd lay up money besides.'
"But that's the notion I'm aimin' to convey; Toothpick is too quick.
His intellects, it looks like, is on eternal tip-toe to get in a stack.
"'He's too simooltaneous, is Toothpick,' says Jack Moore once, when him an' Boggs is discoursin' together, sizin' up Toothpick.'He's that simooltaneous he comes mighty near bein' a whole lot too adjacent.'
"What does Toothpick do that time we-all disapproves an' stampedes him? It's a accidental killin'.
"It's second drink time in the evenin', an' the Tucson stage is in.
Thar's a passel of us who has roped up our mail, an' now we're standin' 'round in front of the Red Light, breakin' into letters an'
papers, an' a-makin' of comments, when along wanders a party who's been picnicin' with the camp.As the deal turns, he never does stay long nohow; never long enough to become a 'genial 'quaintance an' a fav'rite of all.'
"This party who comes sidlin' up is, as we hears, late from Red Dog;an' doorin' them four hours wherein he confers his society onto us, he stays drunk habityooal an' never does lapse into bein' sober for a second.It's shore remark'ble, now, how all them Red Dog people stays intox'cated while they sojourns in Wolfville.Never knows it to fail; an' I allows, as a s'lootion that a-way, it's owin' to the sooperior merits of our nose-paint.It's a compliment they pays us.
"However, this Red Dog gent's drinkin' is his own affairs.An' his earnestness about licker may have been his system; then ag'in it may not; I don't go pryin' none to determine.But bein' he's plumb drunk, as you readily discerns, it keeps up a barrier ag'in growin'
intimate with this party; an' ontil Toothpick opens on him, his intercourse with Wolfville is nacherally only formal.
"This visitor from Red Dog--which Red Dog itse'f is about as low-flung a bunch of crim'nals as ever gets rounded up an' called a camp--but, as I'm sayin', this totterin' wreck I mentions comes stragglin' up, more or less permiscus an' vague, an', without sayin'
a word or makin' a sign, or even shakin' a bush, stands about lariat distance away an' star's at Toothpick, blinkin' his eyes mighty malevolent.
"It ain't no time when this yere bluff on the part of the drinkin'
Red Dog gent attracts Toothpick, who's been skirmishin' 'round among us where we're standin', an' is at that time mentionin' Freighter's Stew, as a good thing to eat, to Dave Tutt.
