"Well, the day's come, an' all Wolfville an' Red Dog turns out to see the trouble.Jack Moore an' Cherokee Hall represents for our editor, an' a brace of Red Dog people shows down for the Stingin'
Lizard man.To prevent accidents, Enright an' the Red Dog chief makes every gent but them I names, leave their weepons some'ers else, wherefore thar ain't a gun in what you-all might call the hands of the pop'laces.
"But thar comes a interruption.Jest as them dooelists gets placed, thar's a stoopendous commotion, an' char gin' through the crowd comes that abandoned goat.The presence of so many folks seems like it makes him onusual hostile.Without waitin' to catch his breath even, he lays for the Red Dog editor, who, seein' him comin', bangs away with his '45 an' misses.The goat hits that author in the tail of his coat, an' over he goes; but he keeps on slammin' away with the '45 jest the same.
"Which nacherally everybody scatters fur cover at the first shot, 'cause the editor ain't carin' where he p'ints, an' in a second nobody's in sight but them two journalists an' that goat.I'll say right yere, son, Colonel Sterett an' his fellow editor an' the goat wages the awfullest battle which I ever beholds.Which you shorely oughter heard their expressions.Each of 'em lets go every load he's got, but the goat don't get hit onct.
"When we-all counts twelve shots--six apiece--we goes out an'
subdoos the goat by the power of numbers.Of course, the dooel's ended.The Red Dog folks borries a wagon an' takes away their man, who's suffered a heap; an' Peets, he stays over thar an' fusses 'round all night savin' of him.The goat's all right an' goes back to the Abe Lincoln House, where this yere Pete Bland is onreasonable enough to back that shockin conduct of his'n.
"Which it's the last of the Red Dog Stingin' Lizard.That editor allows he won't stay, an' Bland, still adherin' to his goat, allows he won't feed him none if he does.The next issue of the Stingin'
Lizard contains this:
"We bid adieu to Red Dog.We will hereafter publish a paper in Tucson; and if we have been weak and mendacious enough to speak in favor of a party of the name of Bland, who misconducts a low beanery which insults an honourable man by stealing his name--we refer to that feed-trough called the Abe Lincoln House--we will correct ourselves in its columns.This person harbours a vile goat, for whose death we will pay 5, and give besides a life-long subscription to our new paper.Last week this mad animal made an unprovoked assault upon us and a professional brother, and beat, butted, wounded, bruised and ill-treated us until we suffer in our whole person.We give notice as we depart, that under no circumstances will we return until this goat is extinct.
"Followin' the onexpected an' thrillin' finish of Colonel Sterett's dooel with the Red Dog editor, an' from which Colonel Sterett emerges onscathed, an' leavin' Peets with his new patient, we all returns in a body to Wolfville.After refreshments in the Red Light, Enright gives his views.
"'Ondoubted,' observes Enright, 'our gent, Colonel Sterett, conducts himse'f in them painful scenes between him an' the goat an' that Red Dog editor in a manner to command respects, an' he returns with honors from them perils.Ther's no more to be done.The affair closes without a stain on the 'scutcheon of Wolfville, or the fair fame of Colonel Sterett; which last may continyoo to promulgate his valyooable paper, shore of our confidence an' upheld by our esteem.
It is not incumbent on him to further pursoo this affair.
His name an' honor is satisfied; besides, no gent can afford the recognitions and privileges of the dooello to a party who's sunk so low as to have hostile differences with a goat, an' who persists publicly in followin'em to bitter an voylent concloosions.This Red Dog editor's done put himself outside the pale of any high-sperited gent's consideration by them actions, an' can claim no further notice.Gents, in the name of Wolfville, I tenders congrat'lations to Colonel Sterett on the way in which he meets the dangers of his p'sition, an' the sooperb fashion!!! which he places before us one of the greatest journals of our times.Gents, we drinks to Colonel William Greene Sterett an' the Coyote.'"
