登陆注册
37949000000079

第79章 XXXVII.(2)

Jeff said, as if their controversy were at an end and they might now turn to more personal things: "You look pretty slim, Mr. Westover. A'n't there something I can do for you-get you? I've come in with a message from mother. She says if you ever want to get that winter view of Lion's Head, now's your time. She wants you to come up there; she and Cynthia both do. They can make you as comfortable as you please, and they'd like to have a visit from you. Can't you go?"Westover shook his head ruefully. "It's good of them, and I want you to thank them for me. But I don't know when I'm going to get out again.""Oh, you'll soon get out," said Jeff. "I'm going to look after you a little," and this time Westover was too weak to protest. He did not forbid Jeff's taking off his overcoat; he suffered him to light his spirit-lamp and make a punch of the whiskey which he owned the doctor was giving him; and when Jeff handed him the steaming glass, and asked him, "How's that?" he answered, with a pleasure in it which he knew to be deplorable, "It's fine."Jeff stayed the whole evening with him, and made him more comfortable than he had been since his cold began. Westover now talked seriously and frankly with him, but no longer so harshly, and in his relenting he felt a return of his old illogical liking for him. He fancied in Durgin's kindness to himself an indirect regret, and a desire to atone for what he had done, and he said: "The effect is in you--the worst effect. I don't think either of the young Lyndes very exemplary people. But you'd be doing yourself a greater wrong than you've done then if you didn't recognize that you had been guilty toward them."Jeff seemed struck by this notion. "What do you want me to do? What can I do? Chase myself out of society? Something like that? I'm willing.

It's too easy, though. As I said, I've never been wanted much, there, and I shouldn't be missed.""Well, then, how would you like to leave it to the people at Lion's Head to say what you should do?" Westover suggested.

I shouldn't like it," said Jeff, promptly. "They'd judge it as you do --as if they'd done it themselves. That's the reason women are not fit to judge." His gay face darkened. "But tell 'em if you want to.""Bah!" cried the painter. "Why should I want to I'm not a woman in everything.""I beg your pardon, Mr. Westover. I didn't mean that. I only meant that you're an idealist. I look at this thing as if some one else had done it; I believe that's the practical way; and I shouldn't go in for punishing any one else for such a thing very severely." He made another punch--for himself this time, he said; but Westover joined him in a glass of it.

"It won't do to take that view of your faults, Jeff," he said, gravely.

"What's the reason?" Jeff demanded; and now either the punch had begun to work in Westover's brain, or some other influence of like force and quality. He perceived that in this earth-bound temperament was the potentiality of all the success it aimed at. The acceptance of the moral fact as it was, without the unconscious effort to better it, or to hold himself strictly to account for it, was the secret of the power in the man which would bring about the material results he desired; and this simplicity of the motive involved had its charm.

Westover was aware of liking Durgin at that moment much more than he ought, and of liking him helplessly. In the light of his good-natured selfishness, the injury to the Lyndes showed much less a sacrilege than it had seemed; Westover began to see it with Jeff's eyes, and to see it with reference to what might be low and mean in them, instead of what might be fine and high.

He was sensible of the growth Jeff had made intellectually. He had not been at Harvard nearly four years for nothing. He had phrases and could handle them. In whatever obscure or perverse fashion, he had profited by his opportunities. The fellow who could accuse him of being an idealist, and could in some sort prove it, was no longer a naughty boy to be tutored and punished. The revolt latent in him would be violent in proportion to the pressure put upon him, and Westover began to be without the wish to press his fault home to him so strongly. In the optimism generated by the punch, he felt that he might leave the case to Jeff himself; or else in the comfort we all experience in sinking to a lower level, he was unwilling to make the effort to keep his own moral elevation. But he did make an effort to save himself by saying: " You can't get what you've done before yourself as you can the action of some one else. It's part of you, and you have to judge the motive as well as the effect.""Well, that's what I'm doing," said Jeff; "but it seems to me that you're trying to have me judge of the effect from a motive I didn't have. As far as I can make out, I hadn't any motive at all."He laughed, and all that Westover could say was, "Then you're still responsible for the result." But this no longer appeared so true to him.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 圣岸

    圣岸

    这是个以悟性为主的世界,想要修炼,纯靠悟性。悟性,即为修炼的资质,悟性高,修炼的就快,也就是说,只要你悟性足够,哪怕瞬间魔神都可以。而传承了血魔记忆的苍陌,就处在这种情况...血魔已修炼至这个世界的最高境界,对于每个境界,他都领悟透彻且在走出了自己的道。随着记忆传承的接收,苍陌的境界以一种骇人听闻的速度提升着......
  • 天道的第二人生

    天道的第二人生

    他是在家族打压下顽强生存的落魄青年,他是混元寰宇的冷面天道,他们一个过去一个未来,在自己最疼爱的后辈的帮助下,他来到了他的时空……这一次,他的人生将会走向一个未知的方向。
  • 天脊之下

    天脊之下

    一本扑朔迷离的经书,牵扯五十年前的层层迷雾,被尘封的往事浮出水面,暗流涌动,他们已经回来了!星辰陨落,众神期盼的命运之人,那手握灵印的少年已经苏醒。继承元尊之力,登昆仑,遇红颜,夺神剑,闹帝都,威镇凌霄,剑斩烛龙……封神之战,即将打响!“记住,你,既是星辰!”
  • 女权帝国

    女权帝国

    拥有开挂的能力,何不开挂地打造一个属于女性的帝国。
  • 人兽封魔

    人兽封魔

    一人一兽齐穿越,来到一个未知的世界,一人一兽斩尽妖魔。
  • 甜宠蜜恋:小甜心俘获手册

    甜宠蜜恋:小甜心俘获手册

    夏果果某天无意间听了一首歌翻唱歌后,就彻底沦陷了,从此走向了追星的不归路。就算没有见过他的长相,也最喜欢他!白珝是万千少女的梦,白手起家创业的他是各界人士的榜样,虽然性格冷酷无情,不近女色,但没有人能拒绝他那张完美到极致的脸。他有一个反差萌的爱好和一个不为人知的秘密……夏果果表示白珝明明就是个温柔的大狗狗!等等,白翊的声音跟她男神的声音为什么这么像(???)白珝委屈巴巴,他的小甜心什么时候才能发现自己就是她追的那个星啊!【短篇甜宠/男女相互扶持一起变豪门/请放心食用?】
  • 那年再遇见

    那年再遇见

    再遇见,是一个浪漫美好的爱情故事,让人羡慕的爱情故事。
  • 大唐女盟主:三小姐的剑

    大唐女盟主:三小姐的剑

    大唐天宝年间,武林盟主的三小姐林慕雪在成亲前夕,采花大盗突然造访,失去清白之躯的三小姐被未婚夫强势退婚,父亲以“自甘堕落,辱尽门风”为由将她无情地逐出家门。结果她学了李白的剑法,公孙大娘原来是她亲生母亲,李隆基为她所倾倒,安禄山因为她而造反。林慕雪:“我本打算以平常人的身份和你们相处,你们竟然要逼我做武林盟主!”
  • 奈何锦鲤要作妖

    奈何锦鲤要作妖

    小鲤鱼精生来没什么大志气,顶着惹人觊觎的体质和超强的气运,她吃喝玩乐无所不能,顺带还养了个小哭包做童养夫。不过不知怎的,养着养着竟然把她圈起来,说什么她的眼里只能有他一个人。不正常,有毛病,得溜。于是,她寻了个机会就跑了,但怕被找到,再加上栖身的小窝被毁,便顺理成章赖上了清月观,黏住了那长身如玉,美色非凡的观主。观中日子多清苦,主要还是那道士对她管东管西的,严厉苛刻的跟个老夫子似的。但不知为何,从回溯镜中出来之后,他便开始对她变得温和起来,虽然还是会管教她,但撒撒娇也不会再说她眼睛是不是抽筋了。只是这变化随着时间的拉长好像越来越诡异了,说好的禁欲严肃古板正直无私呢?我就看那么一眼啊,就看了那么一眼啊,你就把人家弄到十万八千里去了!果然,这也是个不正常的,要跑。道长摸着她的小脑袋瓜子,语气平静,却让人有一种惊悚的感觉。“想去哪里,我陪你可好?”“不好。”“那就别去了,外面危险。”“……哦。”《这是一个渣的坦坦荡荡的小鲤鱼精遇到了一个看似严肃禁欲,古板正经,实则控制欲极强道观观主的故事,总之,前期浪到飞起,后期怂到哭泣。》
  • 缘因喜你

    缘因喜你

    怎样可以喜欢上一个异性,亦或者如何喜欢上你,不相信一见钟情,只不过是见色起意的谎言罢了,朋友说随缘,这缘究竟是什么,缘是你吗?