You’ve Lost
On her return from school，little Dolly，aged ten，was pulled on to her Daddy’s knee，and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise a little baby brother．She seemed glad，and presently said：
“Will you give me a stamp，daddy？I want to write and tell brother Tom．”
The father was touched by this，and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother，who was away at school．Later，curious to know how she would tell the news，he took an opportunity to read what she had written．He received something of a shock on reading the following：
“Dear Tom，
“It’s come off today．You’ve lost；it’s a boy．”
你输了
放学回到家里，十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上，她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇——一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴，马上说：
“爸爸，你能不能给我一张邮票？我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
父亲被这话感动了，他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具，她的哥哥住在学校里。后来，想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的，他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时，他差点儿惊呆了：
“亲爱的汤姆：
“今天结果出来了，你输了；是个男孩。”
A Gentleman
Dick was seven years old，and his sister，Catherine，was five．One day，their mother took them to their aunt’s house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes．
The children played for an hour，and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen．She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him，“Now here’s a knife，Dick．Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister，but remember to do it like a gentleman．”
“Like a gentleman？”Dick asked．“How do gentlemen do it？”
“They always give the bigger piece to the other person．”answered his aunt at once．
“Oh”said Dick．He thought about this for a few seconds．Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her，“Cut this cake in half，Catherine．”
绅士
迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。”
迪克问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？”
他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。”
迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。”
Im Glad
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad．“Now，children，”said she，“has anyone of you ever made someone else glad？”
“Please，teacher，”said a small boy，“I’ve made someone glad yesterday．”
“Well done．Who was that？”
“My granny．”
“Good boy．Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad．”
“Please，teacher，I went to see her yesterday，and stayed with her three hours．Then I said to her，‘Granny，I’m going home.’and she said，‘Well，I’m glad’！”
我很高兴
一个周末学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说，“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？”
“我，老师，”一个小男孩说，“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
“做得好。是谁呢？”
“我奶奶。”
“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿待了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴！’”
Ask Your Own
It was a cold，raw day at Washington．Champ Clark was discussing the gaminsgamin of the cities with an English visitor．The latter expatiatedexpatiate on the wit of the London type of the genius．Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchinurchin any question，the urchin would reply fluently．They sallied forth．
“What time is it，Bub？They tell me you can tell time by your nose.”said the visitor to the first boy they met．
“Ask your own，mister，mine aren’t running.”was the reply．
问问你自己的吧
这是华盛顿的一个阴冷天。钱普·克拉克正和一个来访的英国人讨论城市的流浪儿，英国人详细地叙述着伦敦式天才的机智。克拉克宣称，要是对方向华盛顿街上任何一个儿童提任何问题，那孩子都会对答如流。他们便出发了。
“什么时候了，小兄弟？人们说你能用鼻子报时。”
回答是：“先生，问问你自己的吧，我的不在走呢。”
The New Baby
Mr．and Mrs．Taylor had a sevenyearold boy named Pat．Now Mrs．Taylor was expecting another child．
Pat had seen babies in other people’s houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too．
One evening，Mr．and Mrs．Taylor were making plans for the baby’s arrival．“This house won’t be big enough for us all when the baby comes.”said Mr．Taylor．
Pat came into the room just then and said，“What are you talking about？”“We are saying that we’ll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby’s coming.”his mother answered．
“It’s no use.”said Pat hopelessly．“He’ll follow us there．”
新生儿
泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩，名叫帕特。现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。
帕特在别人家看见过婴儿，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满。
一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排。泰勒先生说：“有了婴儿，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。”
帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：“你们在说什么？”他的母亲回答说：“我们在说我们现在得搬家，因为婴儿就要诞生了。”
“那没用。”帕特绝望地说。“他会跟我们到那儿去的。”
It’s His Fault
Billy and Bobby were small boys．They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other．
Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I’m going to cook our lunch now．Go out and play in the garden-and be good．”
“Yes，Mummy.”the two boys answered，and they went out．
They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen．“Mummy，”he said，“Bobby’s broken a window in Mrs．Allen’s house．”Mrs．Allen was one of their neighbors．
“He’s a bad boy.”his mother said．“How did he break it？”
“I threw a stone at him，”Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down．”
是他的错
比利和波比都是小男孩。他们是兄弟，两人经常打架。
上个星期六，他们的妈妈对他们说：“我现在要做午饭了。去，到花园去玩吧，别淘气。”
“是，妈妈。”两个男孩回答，然后他们就出去了。
他们在花园里玩了半个小时，然后比利跑进了厨房。“妈妈，”他说，“波比打碎了艾伦太太家的窗玻璃。”艾伦太太是他们的邻居。
“他是个坏孩子。”他的妈妈说。“他是怎么把玻璃打碎的？”
“我朝他扔了一块石子，”比利回答，“他赶紧蹲下。”
The Right Leg
Proctor（exceedingly angry）：“So you confess that this unfortunate freshman was carried to this frog pond and drenched？Now what part did you take in this disgracefuldisgraceful affair？”
Soph．（meeklymeekly）：“The right leg，sir．”
右腿
学监（非常生气）：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被扔进这蛙池里，浑身湿透？那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢？”
二年级学生（恭顺地）：“右腿，先生。”
The Name of a Poet
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today．
“It works like this.”she said．“Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet—Robert Burns，for instance．”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns．“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames．See？Bobby Burns！”
“I see what you mean.”said the class knows it all．“But how can you tell that it’s not Robert Browning？”
诗人的名字
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“这个系统是这样的。”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字——例如，要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象，燃烧着的警察。明白吗？警察燃烧！”
“我明白你的意思。”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢？”
Two Men
A party of visitors were being shown round a lunatic asylum．They came across one individual in the grounds，with wild eyes，dishevelleddisheveled hair，feverishly feverishly endeavouring to catchfliescatchfly and keep them in his pocket．
“His was a sad case.”said the attendant．“Whilst he was at the war his wife abandoned his home and ran off with another man．”
“Terrible.”said a visitor．
