15 Cadogan GardensChelse， London S. W
19 October 1921
My dear Kitty，
I was cross①—very cross—when I wrote yesterday. I tried hard all day to forget you， but it wouldn’t work out. I gave up the attempt and I punished myself for not being nice to you—and there you are. You have it all now. That being so. I hope you won’t feel it necessary to write any more severe letters.
Got your Monday (morning) letter last night when I called to my sister’s place. Didn’t get on too well with her either. Trouble everywhere. My own fault. One thing in your letter is truly fine. It does seem ages since I saw you！And it does seem a long way—to our next conversation I mean. These conversations are fine， and they are straight②， and that’s that.
Hope you enjoyed that drive. Last night I escaped from all my people and went for a drive alone. Rather funny—the great M. C. in lonely splendor③. I am lonely actually and I suppose you won’t believe that， and that’s that.
Sorry that some of my letters should fall short. Read those ones again. They are not meant to fall really short. But life has to take in the serious things as well as the light things， and even though we may like sunshine always， it is not practically nor indeed—and remember this—It is desirable. And that’s that.
And I am very cross with myself this morning， and I am very apologetic④ to you and I ought to be， and not for yesterday’s letter merely but a lot more， and without you I would never have thought of the candles and I know I owe you any amount， and I know that you have been of immense⑤ help to me. I was overjoyed last night when my sister asked when were P and H returning from Paris， and couldn’t we have dinner with them and perhaps K could be there also. I wonder if K would， and I wonder what my K thinks of this letter. It’s very unlike me， isn’t it？And I won’t change it. And this is finished.
And love and blessings.
Michael
① crossadj.发怒的，脾气坏的
② straightadj. 正直的，坦率的
③ splendorn. 光辉，光采，壮丽，壮观
④ apologeticadj. 道歉的，认错的，愧悔的
⑤ immenseadj. 巨大的，无边无际的，无限的
迈克尔·柯林斯致未婚妻
我亲爱的基蒂：
我昨天写信的时候脾气不好，非常不好。因为我整整一天都试图忘记你，但没有奏效。于是我放弃了这一努力，就用对你不友好的方式来惩罚我自己——你已经收到了那封信。现在你已经全部看过了那封信。既然如此，我希望你觉得没有必要给我写任何更严厉的回信。
昨晚当我给我姐姐的住所打电话的时候，我收到了你星期一（上午）写的信。我与姐姐也相处得不太好，到处都是麻烦，全都是我的错。你的信有一点真是太好了。我确实好像已长时间没有见到你了。而且确实似乎要很长一段时间——我是说我们才能进行下一次交谈。我们在一起曾经交谈得非常好，非常坦率，的确如此。
希望你喜欢那次驾车旅行。昨晚，我避开自己周围的人，独自开车出去。相当滑稽——伟大的迈克尔·柯林斯却处于孤独的辉煌之中。我的确很孤独，我想你不会相信，但的确如此。
很抱歉有些信我写短了。把那些信再看一遍。这些信并不是有意写短。但是生活中有轻松的事也有严肃的事，尽管如此，我们却总是偏爱阳光，可是这既非实际也不真实——记住——这只是渴望。的确如此。
今天早上我对自己感到非常生气，我对你深感歉意，而且我理应如此，这并非仅仅因为昨天的信，而且还因为其它许多的事。如果没有你，我永远不会想到那些蜡烛，而且我知道我欠你太多，我知道你给予了我巨大的帮助。昨晚我很高兴听到姐姐问我，P和H何时从巴黎返回，我们是否与他们一起吃顿晚餐，而且基蒂是否也有可能在那里？我很想知道我的基蒂是否会来，同时也想知道我的基蒂认为我的这封信写得怎么样。这一点儿都不像我，是吗？我不会修改它了。就写到这儿。
给你爱和祝福。
迈克尔
于威尔士伦敦南，切尔西
多根园15号
1921年10月19日
