Princeton
7th January 1962， Sunday
My dear，
I have been thinking about our conversation of last night， and I hope you have too.
1962， in some ways， is Wylie O’hara’s Year of Decision. Some of the decisions you make this year will have an important bearing on decisions you may want to make several years hence.
For example， suppose that when you are 20 or 21 you should discover that you want to participate① in one of the many activities that will be open to young people in the federal or state government. The first thing they will want to know is what education or training you have had Nowadays the minimum， absolute② minimum requirement for hundreds of jobs is two years’college， either at a four-year college or at a two-year college.
For another example， you have said that you don’t expect to marry before you are 23. Well， that is something you can’t be sure of， but suppose you do wait till you’re 23. Suppose your fiance is a young man who is taking graduate work at some university—law， medicine， the sciences， government work， etc.—and you and he are living in the vicinity③ of his graduate school. You may want to do work on the college or the graduate school level yourself， but I assure you will not be very enthusiastic about it if you have to start as a freshman of 23.
Now I could go on at some length， but the point I am aiming at is this： I want you to think very， very seriously about what you are going to do after St. Tim’s. You are not Miss Rich bitch. You are not going to be Miss Church mouse， either， but you must think in terms of being able to earn at least part of your own living. I don’t think you are going to fall in love with a dumb head. I think a dumb head， rich or not， would bore the hell out of you. Therefore it is extremely likely that the kind of boy you will like and fall in love with is going to be one who uses his brains to earn his living. That almost automatically④ means that he will be taking either graduate work or special post-college training of some sort. and even if you have children right away， you will want to keep up with him intellectually⑤.
I can tell you from my own experience how important it is to have a wife with whom to discuss one’s work. My first wife was a Wellesley B. A. and a Columbia M. A. and a diplomat； I think they are called， at the Sorbonne. Your mother did not go to college， but she could have. Sister and your mother both graduated from good schools and took courses at Columbia and your mother even attended lectures at Oxford without having to enroll there. Both your mother and Sister loved to read and read a great deal， and Sister is multilingual⑥. Both your mother and Sister disliked women’s colleges， but they did not dislike higher learning. They formed their dislike of college—girl types thirty years ago. The type has almost vanished， because the kind of girl your mother and Sister were then would be applying for college today. Everybody goes to college.
Now this is what’s on my mind： the tentative program you have outlined for yourself does not seem to me very “realistic” in 1962 and 1963 and soon. I am hopeful that you will redirect yourself toward a good college so that you will get those two minimum-requirement years on your record and then be able， three years from now， to qualify for jobs or continue working for a degree. You will not regret having those two years on your record， whereas you might easily regret not having them. As your father I have a duty to point these things out to you. But once I have done that I have to leave the real decision up to you.
Love，
Dad
① participatev. 参加，参与
② absoluteadj. 纯粹的，完全的
③ vicinityn. 附近地区，近处，近邻
④ automaticallyadv. 无意识地，不自觉地
⑤ intellectuallyadv. 智力上
⑥ multilingualadj. 使用多种语言的
约翰·奥哈拉致女儿（1）
亲爱的女儿：
我一直在思考我们昨晚的谈话，我希望你也如此。
1962年，从某种程度上来说，是对威利·奥哈拉具有决定性的一年。你今年所做的决定将会对你几年后所希望做出的决定起到至关重要的作用。
比如说：假设当你20岁或21岁时发现你想参加联邦政府或州政府为年轻人组织的某项活动。他们需要了解的第一件事就是你受过何种教育和培训。如今，对各行各业最低的要求是两年的大学教育，要么在四年制大学里学习，要么在两年制大学里学习。
再举一个例子：你说过你不想在23岁以前结婚。也许，这是你无法肯定的，但我们就假设你的确等到23岁。假设你的未婚夫是个在某所大学里读研究生的年轻人——他学的可能是法律、医学、理科、行政管理等等——你和他住在他的研究生院附近。你也许会希望你自己也上大学或读研究生，但我肯定，如果你在23岁时成为大学新生，你将没有热情去学习。
现在我得多说一些，但我的目的是：我希望你非常非常严肃地对待从圣·蒂姆斯中学毕业后你将做什么这一问题。你现在不是富家小姐。你将来也不会是一贫如洗的姑娘，但你必须考虑你怎样才能挣到至少你自己的部分生活费。我想你不会爱上一个笨蛋。我认为，一个笨蛋，不管是穷是富，他都会使你极其厌烦。因此，你喜欢或爱上的那种男孩儿，极有可能是用智慧来谋生的人。那就理所当然地意味着，他会读研究生或是接受大学毕业后的某种培训。并且，即使你想立即生孩子，你也会希望能与他在才智方面保持一致。
我可以用我自己的经历告诉你，有一个能与自己讨论工作的妻子有多么重要。我的第一个妻子是威尔斯利大学的学士和哥伦比亚大学的硕士，我想，在索波姆他们这些人被称为有学位证书的人。你母亲没有上过大学，但她有能力上大学。西斯特和你母亲都毕业于很好的中学，并且在哥伦比亚大学修过课，而且你母亲甚至在不必注册的情况下在剑桥大学听过课。你母亲和西斯特都酷爱读书，读过许多书，而且西斯特会说多种语言。你母亲和西斯特都不喜欢女子大学，但她们并非不喜欢高等教育。她们不喜欢三十年前那种女大学生的模式。这种模式已几乎消失，因为像当年你母亲和西斯特那样的女孩，如今都在申请读大学。人人都读大学。
现在我所考虑的是：你为自己所制定的暂时计划，在我看来这在1962年或1963年或其它时候都是不太现实的。我希望，你能改变原来的计划，去读一所好大学，这样在你的履历上就会有受过两年大学教育的这一最低要求，三年后，你就有资格找工作或继续学习、获得学位。你不会因为在你的履历上有这两年而后悔的，而你也许极易因为没有这两年而懊悔。作为你的父亲，我有责任为你指出这一切。但是，我一旦为你指明了这一切，我就得把真正的决定权留给你。
爱你的，
爸爸
于普林斯顿
1962年1月7日星期日
