登陆注册
8561400000055

第55章 Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct

PRINCIPLE 7:

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

A bachelor friend of mine, about forty years old, becameengaged, and his fiancée persuaded him to take some belateddancing lessons. “The Lord knows I needed dancing lessons,”

he confessed as he told me the story, “for I danced just as I didwhen I first started twenty years ago. The first teacher I engagedprobably told me the truth. She said I was all wrong; I would justhave to forget everything and begin all over again. But that tookthe heart out of me. I had no incentive to go on. So I quit her.

“The next teacher may have been lying, but I liked it. Shesaid nonchalantly that my dancing was a bit old-fashionedperhaps, but the fundamentals were all right, and she assuredme I wouldn’t have any trouble learning a few new steps. Thefirst teacher had discouraged me by emphasizing my mistakes.

This new teacher did the opposite. She kept praising the things Idid right and minimizing my errors. ‘You have a natural sense ofrhythm,’ she assured me. ‘You really are a natural-born dancer.’

Now my common sense tells me that I always have been andalways will be a fourth-rate dancer; yet, deep in my heart, I stilllike to think that maybe she meant it. To be sure, I was paying herto say it; but why bring that up?

“At any rate, I know I am a better dancer than I would havebeen if she hadn’t told me I had a natural sense of rhythm. Thatencouraged me. That gave me hope. That made me want toimprove.”

Tell your child, your spouse, or your employee that he or sheis stupid or dumb at a certain thing, has no gift for it, and is doingit all wrong, and you have destroyed almost every incentive to tryto improve. But use the opposite technique—be liberal with yourencouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the otherperson know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he hasan undeveloped flair for it—and he will practice until the dawncomes in the window in order to excel.

Lowell Thomas, a superb artist in human relations, used thistechnique, He gave you confidence, inspired you with courageand faith.

If you want to help others to improve, remember ...

同类推荐
  • The Government Manager's Guide to  Negotiation

    The Government Manager's Guide to Negotiation

    The Government Manager's Guide to Contract Negotiation Federal managers often find themselves at the negotiating table, charged with reaching a solid, fair deal for their agency. This book offers a veritable arsenal of winning strategies that you and your team can use in your next negotiation.
  • The Body Is Not an Apology

    The Body Is Not an Apology

    This book moves us beyond our all-too-often hidden lives, where we are easily encouraged to forget that we are whole humans having whole human experiences in our bodies alongside others.
  • 不可不知的欧洲100所名校(英汉双语版)

    不可不知的欧洲100所名校(英汉双语版)

    本书从历史等其他角度发掘欧洲每一所名校的创立,同时传播了这些一流大学的教育精神。通过图片和文字结合来介绍名校的各自特色,让广大读者了解欧洲名校的情况,让国内的大学可以吸收经验,同时为学生出国留学铺一条捷径。
  • The Driver in the Driverless Car

    The Driver in the Driverless Car

    A computer beats the reigning human champion of Go, a game harder than chess. Another is composing classical music. Labs are creating life-forms from synthetic DNA. A doctor designs an artificial trachea, uses a 3D printer to produce it, and implants it and saves a child's life.
  • Citizen Wealth

    Citizen Wealth

    Charismatic activist and chief organizer for ACORN , Wade Rathke reveals how building citizen-wealth using tactics that benefit both the poor and the institutions (like banks) is the key to combating poverty.
热门推荐
  • 总裁,妈咪要下蛋

    总裁,妈咪要下蛋

    “帅哥!跟咱生个娃吧!”唐宓儿是谁?她想做的事,没人能挡得住!可偏偏生了一个机灵鬼!帮着老爸哄老妈。“妈咪,爹地和那个阿姨在床上打架哦。”啥米,踹门而入!原来上当了!
  • 逆转次元侵略者

    逆转次元侵略者

    嗯……这就是我平凡无波澜的日常生活啦!“你刚才在说什么?魔王大人?”“笨蛋小志!果然爱胡说八道!”“哼哼,前世被你放逐受苦的仇现在就报了吧!”“小志果然是个男孩子啊……”在日常和非日常的交集之间,我的故事开始了。
  • 末世之捡了一个文明

    末世之捡了一个文明

    地球外太空!一个身高足有三米的壮汉站在虚空中,双目印着蓝色星球,手中抚摸着一本黑底紫纹的书籍,口中呢喃着不知哪国的语言:“太弱了,太弱了!连核的力量都只是掌握了皮毛……但没有办法,神纹文明终究是要传承下去……”男子说着,他身上溢出了无穷无尽的血色物质,顷刻间就将整个地球笼罩……做完这一切,他将手中的书籍丢向地球:“破败中新生!好好珍惜这来之不易的机会吧……”
  • 山大王和她的小道士

    山大王和她的小道士

    什么?那个传说中凶狠毒辣的幕山之主,竟是一个人形美丽娇俏,原形可可爱爱的兔子精?什么?她还因贪恋美色救了,手刃无数妖魔的道门奇才?从此大妖和道士竟诡异的过上了和睦相处的生活。然好景不长在,好花不常开。道士受命下山,妖怪思慕追随。一路遇上簪缨世家的贵女,因爱生恨的莲花女妖,守护主人的女仆亡魂。这红尘浊世精彩纷呈,险些迷了妖怪的眼睛。好在还有道士一路相随,二人历尽艰险眼看就要修成正果。这时候反派大佬出来搞事情了,妖怪为了拯救道士心系的世界牺牲。历劫成功回归神位的道士惊奇的发现,原来自己一直心心念念的人就在身边啊!
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 我与你的三千约定

    我与你的三千约定

    若风识得春风意,长亭等得少年人。——《长风春意》等一季春暖花开,望明年如约而来。——《春望》
  • 国民老公抱一抱

    国民老公抱一抱

    他是明星,她是凰天娱乐的总裁,亦是他唯一的曙光,男主奶,女主强,男主负责貌美如花,女主负责赚钱养家。
  • 才能的充实(世界成功励志故事金典)

    才能的充实(世界成功励志故事金典)

    本书故事精彩,内容纵横,伴随整个人生成功发展历程,思想蕴含丰富,表达深入浅出,闪耀着智慧的光芒和精神的力量,具有成功心理暗示和潜在智慧力量开发的功能,具有很强的理念性、系统性和实用性,能够起到启迪思想、增强心智、鼓舞斗志、指导成功的作用。这套书系是当代成功励志故事的高度浓缩和精华荟萃,是成功的奥秘,智慧的源泉,生命的明灯,是当代青年树立现代观念、实现财智人生的精神奠基之作,也是各级图书馆珍藏的最佳精品。
  • 超人明视

    超人明视

    普通的超声科医生,不普通的工作。平凡的凡人,不平凡的成长历程。人总是要一步步成长,一步步迎接阳光。有时候成长或许会更艰难,但是不要拒绝成长,更不要拒绝阳光。
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!