不论你是沉浸在爱里还是陷入到烦恼中，一切并非取决于你的环境，而在于你面对环境的态度。有一个很好的解决方法：正视你的烦恼。
烦恼看似因某些事而起，其实不然，它源于你对既成事实的对抗和抵触。为了证实这点，挑一件你生活中最近的烦恼来看看。现在，试想你能坦然面对发生的一切，看看结果会如何?烦恼不存在了。
某些事情的发生并不能引起烦恼，导致烦恼的是人们对事实的反抗和抵触。当你不再反抗和抵触时，烦恼也就消失了。
为了生活在爱的海洋里，为了创造高效的生活，你应该停止这种反抗和抵触。你经历的这个过程就叫做：放手。
放手是一种心理活动，它能驱散恐惧和烦恼。从释怀的那一刻起，一切看起来似乎已经改变了，恐惧和烦恼不复存在，你的处境也将截然不同。你变得富于创造力，并能够找到意想不到的解决方法。
放手吧，你需要走到对抗和抵触的彼岸，你需要忘记对生活的渴求和期望，平静地对待生活。
找到你抵触的原因吧！然后接受它的存在。如果你害怕失去某种关系，那就做好心理准备；如果你抵制某人的行为方式，那就在心里允许放任它。
心甘情愿地去接受任何事，从内心深处解放自己，然后，采取一切行动使你的生活变得美好幸福吧。
记住，放手是一种内心状态，与你的行为没有任何关系；放手是一个驱散恐惧和不安的过程，它让你看清自己喜欢怎样的行为方式。
在内心深处，你可以失去某人，但在行为上，你所做的一切，都要让对方感受到爱，让他或她永远不想离开你。
要想轻松地放手，可以采取以下几个步骤。首先是相信，相信无论发生什么事，你都会很好。当你知道自己会安然无恙时，放手就会相对轻松了。
相信也就是说出真相，不论发生什么，你真的不会有事。当你抵触的时候，生活才会充满威胁。所以，停止反抗，去相信吧，相信即使天塌了下来，也有人撑着。
放手的第二个步骤是欣然接受伤痛，乐意去感受痛苦，去体验生活中的失望，体会自认为毫无价值或不尽人意的伤害。
逃避这些伤害就是你抵触的根源，而你一旦愿意去体会这种痛楚，抵触就消失了,你可以放宽心怀了。
比如说，罗伯特害怕失去妻子简，为了确保她不离开，他牢牢地控制她，却让她与自己越来越疏远。罗伯特害怕失去简，如果她离开了他，他会觉得自己不值得爱。为了逃避这种伤害，他一再纠缠。
一旦他准备欣然接受这种伤害，害怕失去简的感觉已不在了，他不再需要纠缠，准备接受她的离去。此时此刻，他们之间的关系已经发生了变化，他不再需要简，而是开始信任她。简感受到他的痴情，又恢复了身心自由，也就不想离开了。
这就是生活，你越能坦然接受一切，顺其自然，它就越轻松自在。你不可能事事顺通，但你的内心能潇洒自如。你恢复了内心的宁静，变得更加理智，你就能创造更加美好的生活。
真正的自由
Serenity of Mind
佚名 / Anonymous
We enjoy inner peace and feel happy and satisfied when life flows smoothly and we have a good job, good relation-ships, good health, and our financial situation is good. When there is nothing to worry about, no tension and no hurry, we are at peace.
In day-to-day life it is not always like this. There is always something that causes worry, tension and lack of ease, and does not let us feel peaceful. In spite of this, we can enjoy peace regardless of our outer circumstances. Peace of mind is an inner state and is independent of outer conditions1. Why wait for never for circumstances to be "right"? Why rely on outside circumstances to bring us peace of mind?
A person may be rich or poor. One may be healthy or sick, free, or live in closed cell. Inner peace and calmness is within reach of everyone. One can be a slave, the other free man, yet both have the potential to enjoy peace of mind.
Peace of mind seems to be in this world but out of this world. It is experienced here and now, yet independent of outer circumstances. Inner calmness and serenity can be experienced even under the most trying circumstances. Of course some training is needed first.
Thoughts and Peace of Mind
Thoughts arise in us and we think them. We may choose to ignore them and experience real inner freedom, or we may choose to water them with the power of our attention and make them grow.
When you have to think, choose only positive, happy and uplifting2 thoughts. Think about and imagine only what you really and truly desire and that will come to pass. Always remember that life is shaped according to your thoughts.
When the mind is silent there is happiness inside and happiness outside.
It is a great asset and advantage to be able to silence the mind when its services are not needed.
The attainment of serenity of mind, which is actually freedom from the compulsion of incessant thinking, is open for everyone, provided the proper training is taken. Just reading this article you will not bring you peace of mind. When you understand the value of inner peace, and you have a true desire to succeed, nothing can stand in your way. Though this is an inner power, the way to its attainment is not different from other tangible goals. Work and persistence are necessary.
Most people are enslaved by their thoughts. It does not occur to man that he can become free from their grasp. From the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we fall asleep at night, this chatter of the mind continues incessantly. The habit of thinking is very deeply ingrained in the human race. Yet, this habit can be undone.
To change or stop a habit we have to act consciously in the opposite direction. Whatever new skill we develop, we have to work at it until it turns into second nature, and becomes easy to perform. The same is with mind control.
True control of the mind is not just the ability to concentrate on one thought and disregard other thoughts. It is the ability to cleanse the mind completely and make it silent. A great Indian sage said: "Mind is only a bundle of thoughts, stop thinking and show me the mind."
When one is really free from thoughts he becomes free from the mind as both are one and the same thing. One comes to see and understand the illusiveness of the mind. When the clouds hide the sun, it is still there, beyond the clouds. Our Essence, our inner Self, is always here. We only need to remove the sheets and covers that envelope it in order to experience peace and calmness. These sheets and covers are our thoughts, ideas，habits and beliefs. I do not mean to tell you that you have to stop using your mind. You need it in order to carry on your life. I mean that it has to be under the control of the Self. It should be your servant to serve you fight, and not your master.
Advice for Attaining Serenity of Mind
You don' t have to feel uncomfortable with words such as Self, Inner Self Essence, Universal Consciousness etc. They may now seem to you meaningless "high" words, but they are not. They symbolize3 something very real, not hazy concepts. Concentration and meditation make these words meaningful. Advancing on the spiritual path is not something hazy, imaginative and unpractical as some may imagine. By personal experience you will come to really know what I mean.
