Come, come, we know very well what all the matter is; but if one won't, another will; so pretty a gentleman need never want a lady. Iam sure, if I was you, I would see the finest she that ever wore a head hanged, before I would go for a soldier for her.- Nay, don't blush so" (for indeed he did to a violent degree). "Why, you thought, sir, I knew nothing of the matter, I warrant you, about Madam Sophia."- "How," says Jones, starting up, "do you know my Sophia?"-"Do I! ay marry," cries the landlady; "many's the time hath she lain in this house."- "with her aunt, I suppose," says Jones. "Why, there it is now," cries the landlady, "Ay, ay, ay, I know the old lady very well. And a sweet young creature is Madam Sophia, that's the truth on't."- "A sweet creature," cries Jones; "O heavens!"Angels are painted fair to look like her.
There's in her all that we believe of heav'n, Amazing brightness, purity, and truth, Eternal joy and everlasting love.
"And could I ever have imagined that you had known my Sophia!"- "Iwish," says the landlady, "you knew half so much of her. What would you have given to have sat by her bed-side? What a delicious neck she hath! Her lovely limbs have stretched themselves in that very bed you now lie in."- "Here!" cries Jones: "hath Sophia ever laid here?"- "Ay, ay, here; there, in that very bed," says the landlady;"where I wish you had her this moment; and she may wish so too for anything I know to the contrary, for she hath mentioned your name to me."- "Ha!" cries he; "did she ever mention her poor Jones? You flatter me now: I can never believe so much."- "Why, then," answered she, "as I hope to be saved, and may the devil fetch me if I speak a syllable more than the truth, I have heard her mention Mr. Jones; but in a civil and modest way, I confess; yet I could perceive she thought a great deal more than she said."- "O my dear woman!" cries Jones, "her thoughts of me I shall never be worthy of. Oh, she is all gentleness, kindness, goodness! Why was such a rascal as I born, ever to give her soft bosom a moment's uneasiness? Why am I cursed?
I who would undergo all the plagues and miseries which any daemon ever invented for mankind, to procure her any good; nay, torture itself could not be misery to me, did I but know that she was happy."- "Why, look you there now," says the landlady; "I told her you was a constant lovier."- "But pray, madam, tell me when or where you knew anything of me; for I never was here before, nor do I remember ever to have seen you."- "Nor is it possible you should," answered she; "for you was a little thing when I had you in my lap at the squire's."- "How, the squire's?" says Jones: "what, do you know that great and good Mr.
Allworthy then?"- "Yes, marry, do says she: "who in the country doth not?"- "The fame of his goodness indeed," answered Jones, "must have extended farther than this; but heaven only can know him- can know that benevolence which it copied from itself, and sent upon earth as its own pattern. Mankind are as ignorant of such divine goodness, as they are unworthy of it; but none so unworthy of it as myself. I, who was raised by him to such a height; taken in, as you must well know, a poor base-born child, adopted by him, and treated as his own son, to dare by my follies to disoblige him, to draw his vengeance upon me. Yes, I deserve it all; for I will never be so ungrateful as ever to think he hath done an act of injustice by me. No, I deserve to be turned out of doors, as I am. And now, madam," says he, "Ibelieve you will not blame me for turning soldier, especially with such a fortune as this in my pocket." At which words he shook a purse, which had but very little in it, and which still appeared to the landlady to have less.
My good landlady was (according to vulgar phrase) struck all of a heap by this relation. She answered coldly, "That to be sure people were the best judges what was most proper for their circumstances. But hark," says she, "I think I hear somebody call. Coming! coming! the devil's in all our volk; nobody hath any ears. I must go down-stairs; if you want any more breakfast the maid will come up.
Coming!" At which words, without taking any leave, she flung out of the room; for the lower sort of people are very tenacious of respect; and though they are contented to give this gratis to persons of quality, yet they never confer it on those of their own order without taking care to be well paid for their pains.
