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第32章 Live Your Own Life(2)

I was lucky.I found what I loved to do early in life.Woz and I started Apple in my parents‘garage when I was 20.We worked hard and in ten years,Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a2billion company with over 4,000employees.We’d just released our finest creation,the Macintosh,a year earlier,and I‘d just turned 30,and then I got fired.How can you get fired from a company you started?Well,as Apple grew,we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me,and for the first year or so,things went well.But then our visions of the future began to diverge,and eventually we had a falling out.When we did,our board of directors sided with him,and so at 30,I was out,and very publicly out.What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone,and it was devastating.I really didn’t know what to do for a few months.I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down,that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me.I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly.I was a very public failure and I even thought about running away from the Valley.But something slowly began to dawn on me.I still loved what I did.The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit.I‘d been rejected but I was still in love.And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then,but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again,less sure about everything.It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods in my life.During the next five years I started a company named NeXT,another company named Pixar and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife.Pixar went on to create the world‘s first computer-animated feature film,“Toy Story”,and is now the most successful animation studio in the world.

In a remarkable turn of events,Apple bought NeXT and I returned to Apple and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance,and Lorene and I have a wonderful family together.I‘m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple.It was awful-tasting medicine but I guess the patient needed it.Sometimes life‘s going to hit you in the head with a brick.Don’t lose faith.I‘m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did.You’ve got to find what you love,and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers.Your work is going to fill a large part of your life,and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work,and the only way to do great work is to love what you do.If you haven‘t found it yet,keep looking,and don’t settle.As with all matters of the heart,you‘ll know when you find it,and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on.So keep looking.Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17,I read a quote that went something like“If you live each day as if it was your last,someday you‘ll most certainly be right.”It made an impression on me,and since then,for the past 33years,I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself,“If today were the last day of my life,would I want to do what I am about to do today?”And whenever the answer has been“no”for too many days in a row,I know I need to change something.Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important thing I‘ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life because almost everything-all external expectations,all pride,all fear of embarrassment or failure-these things just fall away in the face of death,leaving only what is truly important.Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.You are already naked.There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago,I was diagnosed with cancer.I had a scan at 7:30in the morning and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas.I didn’t even know what a pancreas was.The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable,and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months.My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order,which is doctors‘code for“prepare to die”.It means to try and tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next ten years to tell them in just a few months.It means to make sure that everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family.It means to say your goodbyes.I lived with that diagnosis all day.Later that evening I had a biopsy where they stuck an endoscope down my throat,through my stomach into my intestines,put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor.I was sedated but my wife,who was there,told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope,the doctor started crying,because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery.I had the surgery and,thankfully,I am fine now.

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