Jeff Peters was always eloquent when the ethics of hisprofession was under discussion.
“The only times，” said he， “that me and Andy Tuckerever had any hiatuses in our cordial intents was when wediffered on the moral aspects of grafting. Andy had hisstandards and I had mine. I didn’t approve of all of Andy’sschemes for levying contributions from the public， and hethought I allowed my conscience to interfere too oftenfor the financial good of the firm. We had high argumentssometimes. One word led on to another till he said Ireminded him of Rockefeller.
“‘I don’t know how you mean that， Andy，’ says I， ‘butwe have been friends too long for me to take offense， ata taunt that you will regret when you cool off. I have yet，’
says I， ‘to shake hands with a subpoena server.’
“One summer me and Andy decided to rest up a spellin a fine little town in the mountains of Kentucky calledGrassdale. We was supposed to be horse drovers， andgood decent citizens besides， taking a summer vacation.
The Grassdale people liked us， and me and Andy declareda cessation of hostilities， never so much as floating thefly leaf of a rubber concession prospectus or flashing aBrazilian diamond while we was there.
“One day the leading hardware merchant of Grassdaledrops around to the hotel where me and Andy stopped，and smokes with us， sociable， on the side porch. We knewhim pretty well from pitching quoits in the afternoons inthe court house yard. He was a loud， red man， breathinghard， but fat and respectable beyond all reason.
“After we talk on all the notorious themes of the day，this Murkison—for such was his entitlements—takes aletter out of his coat pocket in a careful， careless way andhands it to us to read.
“‘Now， what do you think of that？’ says he， laughing— ‘aletter like that to ME！’
“Me and Andy sees at a glance what it is； but we pretendto read it through. It was one of them old time typewrittengreen goods letters explaining how for 1，000 you could get5，000 in bills that an expert couldn’t tell from the genuine；and going on to tell how they were made from plates stolenby an employee of the Treasury at Washington.
“‘Think of ’em sending a letter like that to ME！’ saysMurkison again.
“‘Lot’s of good men get ’em，’ says Andy. ‘If you don’tanswer the first letter they let you drop. If you answer itthey write again asking you to come on with your moneyand do business.’
“‘But think of ’em writing to ME！’ says Murkison.
“A few days later he drops around again.
“‘Boys，’ says he， ‘I know you are all right or I wouldn’tconfide in you. I wrote to them rascals again just for fun.
They answered and told me to come on to Chicago. Theysaid telegraph to J. Smith when I would start. When I getthere I’m to wait on a certain street corner till a man in agray suit comes along and drops a newspaper in front ofme. Then I am to ask him how the water is， and he knowsit’s me and I know it’s him.’
“‘Ah， yes，’ says Andy， gaping， ‘it’s the same old game. I’veoften read about it in the papers. Then he conducts youto the private abattoir in the hotel， where Mr. Jones isalready waiting. They show you brand new real money andsell you all you want at five for one. You see ’em put it ina satchel for you and know it’s there. Of course it’s brownpaper when you come to look at it afterward.’
“‘Oh， they couldn’t switch it on me，’ says Murkison.
‘I haven’t built up the best paying business in Grassdalewithout having witticisms about me. You say it’s realmoney they show you， Mr. Tucker？’
“‘I’ve always—I see by the papers that it always is，’ saysAndy.
“‘Boys，’ says Murkison， ‘I’ve got it in my mind that themfellows can’t fool me. I think I’ll put a couple of thousandin my jeans and go up there and put it all over ’em. If BillMurkison gets his eyes once on them bills they show himhe’ll never take ’em off of ’em. They offer 5 for 1， andthey’ll have to stick to the bargain if I tackle ’em. That’sthe kind of trader Bill Murkison is. Yes， I jist believe I’lldrop up Chicago way and take a 5 to 1 shot on J. Smith. Iguess the water’ll be fine enough.’
“Me and Andy tries to get this financial misquotationout of Murkison’s head， but we might as well have triedto keep the man who rolls peanuts with a toothpickfrom betting on Bryan’s election. No， sir； he was goingto perform a public duty by catching these green goodsswindlers at their own game. Maybe it would teach ’em alesson.
“After Murkison left us me and Andy sat a whileprepondering over our silent meditations and heresies ofreason. In our idle hours we always improved our higherselves by ratiocination and mental thought.
“‘Jeff，’ says Andy after a long time， ‘quite unseldom Ihave seen fit to impugn your molars when you have beenchewing the rag with me about your conscientious way ofdoing business. I may have been often wrong. But here isa case where I think we can agree. I feel that it would bewrong for us to allow Mr. Murkison to go alone to meetthose Chicago green goods men. There is but one way itcan end. Don’t you think we would both feel better if wewas to intervene in some way and prevent the doing ofthis deed？’
“I got up and shook Andy Tucker’s hand hard and long.
“‘Andy，’ says I， ‘I may have had one or two hard thoughtsabout the heartlessness of your corporation， but I retract’em now. You have a kind nucleus at the interior of yourexterior after all. It does you credit. I was just thinkingthe same thing that you have expressed. It would notbe honorable or praiseworthy，’ says I， ‘for us to letMurkison go on with this project he has taken up. If heis determined to go let us go with him and prevent thisswindle from coming off.’
“Andy agreed with me； and I was glad to see that he wasin earnest about breaking up this green goods scheme.
