“While the weekly papers was having chalk-plate cuts ofme and Andy we wired an employment agency in Chicagoto express us f.o.b.， six professors immediately—oneEnglish literature， one up-to-date dead languages， onechemistry， one political economy—democrat preferred—one logic， and one wise to painting， Italian and music，with union card. The Esperanza bank guaranteed salaries，which was to run between 800 and 800.50.
“Well， sir， we finally got in shape. Over the front doorwas carved the words： ‘The World’s University； Peters &Tucker， Patrons and Proprietors. And when September thefirst got a cross-mark on the calendar， the come-ons begunto roll in. First the faculty got off the tri-weekly expressfrom Tucson. They was mostly young， spectacled， and redheaded，with sentiments divided between ambition and
food. Andy and me got ’em billeted on the Floresvilliansand then laid for the students.
“They came in bunches. We had advertised the Universityin all the state papers， and it did us good to see how quickthe country responded. Two hundred and nineteen huskylads aging along from 18 up to chin whiskers answered theclarion call of free education. They ripped open that town，sponged the seams， turned it， lined it with new mohair；and you couldn’t have told it from Harvard or Goldfieldsat the March term of court.
“They marched up and down the streets waving flagswith the World’s University colors—ultra-marine andblue—and they certainly made a lively place of Floresville.
Andy made them a speech from the balcony of theSkyview Hotel， and the whole town was out celebrating.
“In about two weeks the professors got the studentsdisarmed and herded into classes. I don’t believe there’sany pleasure equal to being a philanthropist. Me andAndy bought high silk hats and pretended to dodge thetwo reporters of the Floresville Gazette. The paper hada man to kodak us whenever we appeared on the street，and ran our pictures every week over the column headed‘Educational Notes.’ Andy lectured twice a week at theUniversity； and afterward I would rise and tell a humorousstory. Once the Gazette printed my pictures with AbeLincoln on one side and Marshall P. Wilder on the other.
“Andy was as interested in philanthropy as I was. Weused to wake up of nights and tell each other new ideas forbooming the University.
“‘Andy，’ says I to him one day， ‘there’s something weoverlooked. The boys ought to have dromedaries.’
“‘What’s that？’ Andy asks.
“‘Why， something to sleep in， of course，’ says I. ‘Allcolleges have ’em.’
“‘Oh， you mean pajamas，’ says Andy.
“‘I do not，’ says I. ‘I mean dromedaries.’ But I nevercould make Andy understand； so we never ordered ’em. Ofcourse， I meant them long bedrooms in colleges where thescholars sleep in a row.
“Well， sir， the World’s University was a success. We hadscholars from five States and territories， and Floresvillehad a boom. A new shooting gallery and a pawn shop andtwo more saloons started； and the boys got up a collegeyell that went this way：
“‘Raw， raw， raw， Done， done， done， Peters， Tucker， Lotsof fun， Bow-wow-wow， Haw-hee-haw， World University，Hip， hurrah！’
“The scholars was a fine lot of young men， and me andAndy was as proud of ’em as if they belonged to our ownfamily.
“But one day about the last of October Andy comes tome and asks if I have any idea how much money we hadleft in the bank. I guesses about sixteen thousand. ‘Ourbalance，’ says Andy， ‘is 821.62.’
“‘What！’ says I， with a kind of a yell. ‘Do you mean totell me that them infernal clod-hopping， dough-headed，pup-faced， goose-brained， gate-stealing， rabbit-eared sonsof horse thieves have soaked us for that much？’
“‘No less，’ says Andy.
“‘Then， to Helvetia with philanthropy，’ says I.
