Arrived in a very few minutes Mr. Ashamed, jaunty, cheerful, and defensive.
Ina, with a countenance from which all discontent was artfully extracted, laid before him, in the friendliest way you can imagine, an English Bible. It was her father's, and she always carried it with her. "I wish,"said she, insidiously, "to consult you on a passage or two of this book.
How do you understand this:
"'When thou doest thine alms, do not send a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do.'
"And this:
"'When thou doest thine alms, let not thy right hand know what thy left hand doeth, that thine alms may be in secret; and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.'"Having pointed out these sentences with her finger, she looked to him for his interpretation. Joseph, thus erected into a Scripture commentator, looked at the passages first near, and then afar off, as if the true interpretation depended on perspective. Having thus gained a little time, he said, "Well, I think the meaning is clear enough. We are to hide our own light under a bushel. But it don't say an agent is to hide his employer's.'
"Be serious, sir. This is a great authority.""Oh, of course, of course. Still--if you won't be offended, ma'am--times are changed since then. It was a very small place, where news spread of itself; and all that cannot be written for theatrical agents, because there wasn't one in creation.""And so now their little customs, lately invented, like themselves, are to prevail against God's im-mor-tal law!" It was something half way between Handel and mellowed thunder the way her grand contralto suddenly rolled out these three words. Joseph was cunning. He put on a crushed appearance, deceived by which the firm but gentle Klosking began to soften her tone directly.
"It has given me pain," said she, sorrowfully. "And I am afraid God will be angry with us both for our ostentation.""Not He," said Joseph, consolingly. "Bless your heart, He is not half so irritable as the parsons fancy; they confound Him with themselves."Ina ignored this suggestion with perfect dignity and flowed on: "All Istipulate now is that I may not see this pitiable parade in print.""That is past praying for, then," said Ashmead, resolutely. "You might as well try to stop the waves as check publicity--in our day. Your munificence to the poor--confound the lazy lot!--and the gratitude of those pompous prigs, the deputation--the presentation--your admirable reply--""You never heard it, now--"
"Which, as you say, I was not so fortunate as to hear, and so must content myself with describing it--all this is flying north, south, east, and west.""Oh no, no, no! You have not _advertised_ it?""Not advertised it! For what do you take me? Wait till you see the bill Iam running up against you. Madam, you must take people as they are. Don't try to un-Ashmead _me;_ it is impossible. Catch up that knife and kill me. I'll not resist; on the contrary, I'll sit down and prepare an obituary notice for the weeklies, and say I did it. BUT WHILE I BREATHE IADVERTISE."
And Joseph was defiant; and the Klosking shrugged her noble shoulders, and said, "You best of creatures, you are incurable."To follow this incident to its conclusion, not a week after this scene, Ina Klosking detected, in an English paper, "A CHARITABLE ACT.
"Mademoiselle Klosking, the great contralto, having won a large sum of money at the Kursaal, has given a thousand pounds to the poor of the place. The civic authorities hearing of this, and desirous to mark their sense of so noble a donation, have presented her with the ******* of the burgh, written on vellum and gold. Mademoiselle Klosking received the compliment with charming grace and courtesy; but her modesty is said to have been much distressed at the publicity hereby given to an act she wished to be known only to the persons relieved by her charity."Ina caught the culprit and showed him this. "A thousand pounds!" said she. "Are you not ashamed? Was ever a niggardly act so embellished and exaggerated? I feel my face very red, sir.""Oh, I'll explain that in a moment," said Joseph, amicably. "Each nation has a coin it is always quoting. France counts in francs, Germany in thalers, America in dollars, England in pounds. When a thing costs a million francs in France, or a million dollars in the States, that is always called a million pounds in the English journals: otherwise it would convey no distinct idea at all to an Englishman. Turning thalers and francs into pounds--_that_ is not _exaggeration;_ it is only _translation."_Ina gave him such a look. He replied with an unabashed smile.
She shrugged her shoulders in silence this time, and, to the best of my belief, made no more serious attempts to un-Ashmead her Ashmead.
A month had now passed, and that was a little more than half the dreary time she had to wade through. She began to count the days, and that made her pine all the more. Time is like a kettle. Be blind to him, he flies;watch him, he lags. Her sweet temper was a little affected, and she even reproached Ashmead for holding her out false hopes that his advertisements of her gains would induce Severne to come to her, or even write. "No," said she; "there must be some greater attraction. Karl says that Miss Vizard, who called upon me, was a beauty, and dark. Perhaps she was the lovely girl I saw at the opera. She has never been there since:
and he is gone to England with people of that name.""Well, but that Miss Vizard called on you. She can't intend to steal him from you.""But she may not know; a woman may injure another without intending. He may deceive her; he has betrayed me. Her extraordinary beauty terrifies me. It enchanted me; and how much more a man?"Joseph said he thought this was all fancy; and as for his advertisements, it was too early yet to pronounce on their effect.
