妈妈为她减肥十磅而非常自豪。在和我们小两口一起去商场的路上，她别无所谈。我们把她送到女内衣部，在那儿分手，但当我们回来找她时，却找不见她。我想她也许会在试衣室，就问售货员是否见过我母亲。“她长得什么样？”这位职员问。
我丈夫直截了当地说：“她刚减了十磅。”
“左边第三个门，”女售货员笑眯眯地回答。
Disconcerting
I had been trying to get my friend Mike-a rock， n roll fan-interested in classical music. When I offered to purchase tickets to a Mozart festival， he willingly agreed to accompany me and seemed to enjoy the symphony.
After the concert， I mentioned how Mozart，s music moved me. “At times， I can almost hear his voice in his music and I feel as though he，s talking to me， I said.
Mike nodded his head in solemn agreement. “Yes，” he said. “I know what you mean.”
Feeling very pleased that I had made a “convert”， I asked what he felt the music was saying to him.
He replied， “it said go to sleep， Michael. Go to sleep.” Notes：
(1) disconcert v.使窘困，使狼狈
(2) a rock，n roll fan摇滚迷
(3) offer to （do）主动提出（做）
(4) purchase v.购买
(5) Mozart 莫扎特（奥地利着名作曲家）
(6) accompany v.陪伴，伴随
(7) symphony n.交响乐
(8) solemn adj.庄严的，严肃的
(9) convert n.归顺某宗教者（本文指转变兴趣的人）
尴尬
我一直设法让我朋友迈克——一个摇滚迷——对古典音乐感兴趣。我主动提出购买两张莫扎特纪念节的票，他很愿意伴随我，而且似乎喜爱上了交响乐。
音乐会后，我捉到莫扎特的音乐如何感动了我。“有些时候，我几乎可以听到他在音乐中的声音，感觉到好像他在对我倾诉，”我说。
迈克严肃地点点头表示赞成。“是的，”他说，“我懂你的意思。”
我为已使他转变了兴趣而非常得意，我问他是如何感受那音乐的。
他回答说：“交响乐对我说：睡吧，迈克，睡吧。”
Do Me a Favor
The mechanic was very busy when I took my car in for repairs， so I settled down in the waiting room with a book I，d brought along. The mechanic was in and out answering calls， and at one point he stopped and looked at me. “Would you do me a favor and flip back a few pages when someone comes in？ That way it won，t look as if you，ve been here all day.”Notes：
(1) mechanic n.汽车修理师
(2) settle down安适地坐下或躺
(3) do sb a favor帮助某人
(4) flip v.以指捻
请帮个忙
我把车拖去修理，机械师很忙。所以我就坐在接待室，拿出我随身带来的书读，机械师出出进进地打招呼。有一次，他停下来看了看我说：“你能帮我个忙吗？有人进来时，把书翻回几页行吗？那样的话，就不会看上去你在这儿呆了一整天了。”
Dream
The school of agriculture，s dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. “Why have you chosen this career？” he asked.
“I dream of making a million dollars in farming， like my father，” the student replied.
“Your father made a million dollars in farming？” echoed the impressed dean.
“No，” replied the applicant. “But he always dreamed of it. ”
Notes：
(1) dean of admissions 招生办主任
(2) prospective adj. 预期中的，可能的
(3) echo v. 重复，附和
梦想
农校的招生办主任在面试一个上线的学生，“你为何要选择这个职业？”他问。
“我梦想以经营农场来赚一百万元，就像我父亲一样。”这个学生回答说。
“你父亲经营农场赚了一百万元？”主任惊诧地问道。
“没有，”这位申请人回答道，“他总是梦想着赚到这个数目。”
Easy or Not
Pulling alongside our driveup bank window， a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied， she backed away and tried again. After five attempts， she finally parked the car and rolled down her window. I greeted her with a simple “Good morning”.
“Good morning，” she replied cheerfully. “I，m going to have to use this driveup all the time. It，s so easy！”
Notes：
(1) alongside adv.沿着；靠着
(2) driveup n.驱车直达处
(3) back up 退后
方便与否
一位妇女把车沿着我们银行的驱车直达窗口开过来，可她并不满意于她停的位置。因此她倒车，靠得更近点。还是不满意，倒车，再来。五次努力后，终于她把车停下来，摇下车窗。我简单地问候她一声“早上好”。
“早上好，”她愉快地回答说，“以后我都要使用这种驱车直达窗口。真是如此的方便。”
Excellent Skills
After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport， they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation， the husband took out a fivedollar bill and waved it above the crowd.
In an instant， a skycap was at his side. “Sir，” observed the porter， “you certainly have excellent communication skills.”
Notes：
(1) land v.着陆
(2) desperation n. 无奈
(3)skycap n.戴宽边帽子的人
(4)observe v.说 绝妙的技巧
我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后，他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。无奈，丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。
一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。“先生，”脚夫说道，“很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。”
Get a Job
One day shortly after I had come home from college， my father was outside doing yard work. He found a baby bird under a tree and assumed it had fallen from its nest. Wanting to return the tiny creature to its home， my dad went to get a ladder. When he got back， he found another baby bird on the ground.
Suddenly he heard a loud chirping from above. Looking up， my father saw the mother bird giving a third baby the boot from its nest. With that， Dad walked into our house， took one look at me watching television and barked， “Get a job！”Notes：
(1) assume v.猜测
(2) chirping n.啁啾声
(3) give sb the boot开除；赶出
(4) bark v.咆哮着说出；吼叫
找个工作
一天，我刚刚从学院回到家里，我父亲正在院子里面做活。他发现树下有一个雏鸟，猜想可能是从窝里掉下来的。父亲便去搬梯子，他想把这个小东西送回它的家。梯子搬来了，可父亲发现地上又多了一个雏鸟。
突然他听到树上有大声的唧唧声。父亲抬起头，看见母鸟正在把第三只雏鸟往巢外踢。看到这些，父亲走进屋，看了一眼在看电视的我，大声叫道：“找个工作去！”
Good Thing He Has You
While I was talking to a parent of one of my thirdgrade students， another teacher walked by. The mother， remarking how beautiful the woman was， said， “If my son had her for a teacher， he wouldn，t be able to concentrate. ” Then she paused and added， “Good thing he has you. ”Notes：
(1) remark v. 谈起
(2) concentrate v. 集中注意力于；专心于
有你教他真好
在我和一位三年级学生的母亲交谈时，另一位老师从旁边走过。那位母亲评论说那女教师真美，她说：“如果由她教我儿子的话，他一定不能认真听课的。”她停顿了一下，又加了一句：“有你教他真好。”
He Lowered Her Chair Six Inches
While on vacation in San Francisco， my sister developed a toothache. The hotel desk clerk recommended a dentist. Susan， who dislikes heights， was horrified to discover that she was located on the 14th floor of a skyscraper， with two of the office walls made entirely of glass.
Susan was sitting rigidly in the examination chair， clutching its sides， when the dentist came in. “Are you always this nervous？” he asked.
“It，s just that I ，m not used to being up this high， Susan replied， eyes closed.”
“Oh， I，m sorry，” he said. Then he lowered her chair six inches. Notes：
(1) San Francisco 旧金山
(2) develop v.发病
(3) recommend v.推荐
(4) horrified adj.惊恐的
(5) be located位于
(6) skyscraper n.摩天大楼
(7) rigidly adv.僵硬地
(8) clutch v.紧抓；紧握
(9) be used to习惯于
他把她的椅子降低了6寸
在旧金山度假期间，我妹妹得了牙痛。宾馆接待员向她推荐了一名牙医。苏珊有恐高症，她惊恐地发现他的诊所位于摩天大楼的14层上，办公室有两面墙壁全用玻璃制成。
苏珊僵硬地坐在候诊椅里，紧紧地抓住两边的扶手，这时牙医进15来了。“你总是这么紧张吗？”他问。
“这只是因为我不习惯这种高度。”苏珊回答，眼睛紧闭。
“哦，对不起，”他说。然后他把她的椅子降低了6寸。
Hunting Skills
Two Russian hunters meet. “I shot a gigantic bear yesterday，” says Ivan. “Look at the hide！”
“How do you find such huge bears？” Sergei asks.
“Easy，” says Ivan. “You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out， you shoot.”
Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. “Didn，t you follow my advice？” Ivan asks.
“Sure I did. I stood， in front of a cave and whistled， ” Sergei replies.
“And what came out？”
“To me， ”says Sergei， “it looked like the TransSiberian Express.” Notes：
(1) hide n.兽皮
(2) bandage n.绷带
(3) whistle v.吹哨子；鸣笛
(4) TransSiberian Express 穿越西伯利亚的快车
打猎的技巧
两个俄国猎人相遇。“我昨天打了一只巨熊，”伊凡说，“看看这兽皮！”
“你是如何发现这么大的熊的？”谢尔盖问道。
“简单，”伊凡说，“你站在一个洞前并吹哨子。熊出来时你就开枪。”
