7、在你出生之前，你的父母并非像他们现在这样乏味。他们变成今天这个样子是因为这些年来他们一直在为你付账单，给你洗衣服，听你大谈你是如何的酷。所以，如果你想消灭你父母那一辈中的“寄生虫”来拯救雨林的话，还是先去清除你房间衣柜里的虫子吧。
8、你的学校也许已经不再分优等生和劣等生，但生活却仍在作出类似区分。在某些学校已经废除不及格分；只要你想找到正确答案，学校就会给你无数的机会。这和现实生活中的任何事情没有一点相似之处。
9、生活不分学期。你并没有暑假可以休息，也没有几位雇主乐于帮你发现自我。自己找时间做吧。
10、电视并不是真实的生活。在现实生活中，人们实际上得离开咖啡屋去干自己的工作。
11、善待乏味的人。有可能到头来你会为一个乏味的人工作。
Secrets About Women 女人的32个秘密
1、Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
2、Women especially love a bargain.
3、Women love to shop. It is the only area of the world wheretheyfeel like they’re actually in control.
4、Women will always ask questions that have no center answers,inan effort to trap yousintosfeeling guilty.
5、Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feelaneed to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
6、Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.
7、Women hate bugs. Even the strong -willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
8、Women can’t keep secrets.
9、Women always go to public rest rooms in groups. It gives themachance to gossip.
10、Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter whatshe's doing.
11、Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an"on／off"switch.
12、Women think all beer is the same.
13、Women keep three different shampoos in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rainforest.
14、Women don' understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
15、If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice；if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day.
16、Women brush their hair before bed.
17、Women are paid less than men, except for one field：Modeling.
18、Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility.
19、Women do not know anything about cars, even if they drive car themselves.
20、Women have better rest rooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet.
21、Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
22、Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girl friend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
23、A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,emptythe garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
24、Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question,＂How do I look？＂
25、〃Oh,nothing,〃has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
26、All women will say that they are overweight, but don't agree with them about it.
27、Only women understand the need for〃guest towels〃and the〃good china〃.
28、Women want equal centers, but you rarely hear them clamoring to cover the responsibilities that go with those centers.
29、Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
30、Women don’t really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary.
31、Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men；women will always catch men checking out other women.
32、The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party.
1、女人需要哭泣，并且只有在你能听到时才哭。
2、女人特别喜欢便宜货。
3、女人喜欢购物，她们觉得那是她们在这个世界上能控制的惟一领域。
4、女人总是问一些没有正确答案的问题，她们想使你有犯罪感。
5、女人喜欢交谈。沉默使她们不安，她们需要用交谈打破沉默，即使她们没什么可说的。
6、女人需要感觉到别人不如她们。
7、女人讨厌虫子。当看到一只蜘蛛或黄蜂时，即使意志力很强的女人也需要一个男人在身旁。
8、女人不能保守秘密。
9、女人经常结伴去公共卫生间，这是她们闲谈的好机会。
10、女人不会拒绝接听任何来电。电话铃一响，不论正在做什么，她都会去接电话。
11、女人永远不会明白男人为什么喜欢玩具。男人认为，如果女人有开关,他们就不再需要玩具了。
12、女人觉得所有品牌的啤酒都是一个味儿。
13、通常，女人的浴室里总放着3种不同的洗发香波。她们沐浴后，浴室就散发着热带雨林的味道。
14、女人不能领略体育节目的魅力。男人从那些能让他们逃离现实的东西中寻找娱乐，女人则从那些能提醒她们现实有多糟糕的东西中寻找娱乐。
15、如果一个男人要出门7天，他会带够5天穿的衣服，并且会将一些衣物穿两次。如果一个女人要出门7天，她会带够21天穿的衣服，因为她不知道自己每天喜欢穿什么。
16、女人在睡觉前梳头。
17、女人的薪水比男人低，只有一个行业例外——模特。
18、女人永远不会犯错。道歉是男人的责任。
19、女人对汽车一无所知，即使她们自己开车。
20、女人的卫生间很讲究，那里有精致的椅子和红地毯。
21、女人喜欢猫。男人说他们喜欢猫，但当女人看不见的时候，他们就会踢猫。
22、女人喜欢煲电话粥。一个女人去看她的女朋友，她们一起生活了两个星期，她刚刚回家便会给这个女朋友打电话，她们会聊上3个小时。
23、女人做什么事之前都会化妆——购物、给植物浇水、倒垃圾、接电话、读书、收邮件……
24、在这个问题上女人不想得到诚实的答案——“我看上去怎么样？”
25、“哦,没什么。”这句话在女人的字典里的意思和在男人字典里的完全不同。
26、所有女人都会说自己超重，但千万别对此表示赞同。
27、只有女人知道为什么“客用毛巾”和“好瓷器”是必要的。
28、女人要求享有与男人同样的权利，但你几乎听不到她们吵嚷着要求承担和男人同样的责任。
29、面对超速行驶的罚单，噘嘴可以使女人免于处罚，却会使男人被拘留。
30、女人并不真的在乎男人是否有幽默感，尽管她们声称幽默感很重要。
31、女人在出门前将花费数小时化妆，然后她们出门，花更多时间注视其他女人。男人永远不会察觉女人注视着其他男人，而女人总能察觉男人注视着其他女人。
32、最让女人尴尬的，就是在一个正式的聚会上发现另一个女人穿着和自己同样的衣服。
Three Peach Stones三颗核桃
